


Isolation

by HotGoatCheese



Series: Whumptober 2019 [7]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Choices, Gen, Implied past codependency, Loneliness, M/M, References to Martin's feelings for Jon, no definite timeframe, set early-ish s4?, should I tag for use of microsoft excel?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 20:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20972246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotGoatCheese/pseuds/HotGoatCheese
Summary: It's how it had always been, wasn't it? Martin had more acquaintances than friends. Knew more people than knew him. He wasn't often the first line of defense against an irritable, evil boss who would as soon banish them to be devoured by the essence of loneliness itself as look at them, but honestly it wasn't that surprising of a place to find himself when he thought about it. He'd always put more into his relationships. Always cared more.





	Isolation

It would have been easier if Jon had never woken up.

The first time Martin thought that, those exact eleven words crossing his mind, he stopped completely. Pushed himself away from his desk, lifted his hands from his keyboard and held them up by his head in a gesture of surrender. To what or possibly to who he didn't know. It was such a morbid thought, wasn't it? To even entertain his own convenience at the expense of -

Of course, he'd never have made this choice if he'd known Jon was coming back, would he? 

It was a bit too late to un-make it too.

Martin lowered his hands back to the keyboard and bent his elbows as he pulled himself in at his desk once more. He tapped empty numbers into the excel document, trying to fill his head with them. Chasing a sense of hallow accomplishment when the equations all worked out at the end and plugged right into the simple system he'd designed. Names he could dimly associate with faces and, even voices if he stopped to think about it. 

People who probably would need to be reminded of his name if he stopped to have a conversation with them.

It's how it had always been, wasn't it? Martin had more acquaintances than friends. Knew more people than knew him. He wasn't often the first line of defense against an irritable, evil boss who would as soon banish them to be devoured by the essence of loneliness itself as look at them, but honestly it wasn't that surprising of a place to find himself when he thought about it. He'd always put more into his relationships. Always cared more. 

It hadn't really been a choice when he'd made it. At least, it hadn't felt like one. It'd been easy. With Sasha long gone, Tim Dead, and Jon never returning...there was nothing left for him. If he couldn't leave at least he could make himself useful, protect whatever was left. Except now Jon was back and, well, the choice was already made, wasn't it?

Isolation. 

It was a bit more real now. Now that there was something on the other side of that office door he'd have chosen over this...self-imposed loneliness. Now that someone he missed was within arms reach. It was more of a choice. 

Or it had been, because the choice had already made..Despite the moment of alarm, Martin fell smoothly back into the routine of his work, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth when the file spit out the data he'd been looking for, and he could start working from that on scheduling. A little personal victory, he could finally trash Elias Bouchard's scheduling system, he had his own now. 

All he'd ever needed, really. If he weren't so sure of nefarious motives at play, maybe he'd have to thank Peter for helping him see that. 


End file.
